|Fri, May 25, 2018 02:31 AM
|Wednesday, March 8, 2017 issue
Laughter For The Soul
01/26/2007 - When my father was diagnosed with lung cancer, we researched everything we could on the subject in an attempt to combat the disease. Unfortunately, this condition was exacerbated by painful and debilitating rheumatoid arthritis, which prohibited him from walking or doing any type of exercise that might improve his outcome. In our quest for a cure we found some extraordinary information which stated that hearty laughter could increase your lung capacity.
Daddy was extremely interested in this form of therapy, so once daily he would sit at the kitchen table and begin laughing. Obviously, laughter is certainly contagious because after a few forced chuckles that caused his shoulders to gyrate and his lips to spread out into a large grin, all of us joined in and within a few minutes would be sincerely laughing so hard we could barely stop. Now every time I hear a really good joke or funny story, I think back to the days when we laughed for our health.
The following gags were sent to me from Jean Doyle and Diane Porter, and I giggled when I read them. I think they're worth passing on.
A lady was in Target buying a large bag of Purina for her dog, Lola. She was in line to check out when a woman behind her asked if she had a dog.
The lady was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, she said, "No, I'm starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because the last time I ended up in the hospital. Even though I lost 50 pounds I still awoke in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms."
The lady went on and on with the bogus diet story while her listener was totally buying it. She continued and said that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and all you had to do was load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two each time you felt hungry. Since the package said the food is nutritionally complete, she said she decided to try it again.
At this point in the tale practically everyone in the check-out line was enthralled with her story, particularly a tall guy standing behind her. However, he was curious as to why she had ended up in the hospital and inquired as to whether the dog food might somehow have poisoned her.
"No," the lady sarcastically replied, "I was sitting in the street licking my butt when a car hit me!"
* * *
A man was packing for a business trip while his three-year-old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed. At one point she said, "Daddy,
look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, he reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in his mouth.
"Daddy's gonna eat your fingers," he said and then pretended to eat them. He went back to packing and when he looked up again his daughter was standing on the bed staring at her fingers with a devastated look on her face.
The man asked, "What's wrong, honey?"
She then answered, "What happened to my booger?"
Have you had your laugh today?